Mean Girls: Preschool Edition

Normally, a busy park means lots of new kids to play with. Usually the kids are nice, just looking for someone to play with too. Today was a different story. There was a play group at the park today. About 10 parents, each with about 2 kids about 30 individuals plus a few straggler parents and kids like us. Lily was doing her own thing, you know sliding, climbing, acting like a lion. Bella was doing her own separate thing, mainly trying to climb up ladders.

Lily's old enough that I don't have to watch her too closely, so I can guard Bella during her dangerous adventures. Lily had just mastered the chain ladder and proudly set off to the BIG slide to go down FAST. Bella wanted to try the chain ladder so I stayed behind. Next, I hear a girls screaming "You're mean, we hate you!" followed by Lily wailing "Mommy those girls yelled at me." Eventually, I convinced her to go down the slide so we could talk. The incident happened above my head, so I can't say for sure what happened. From several conversations over the day, I gather that Lily was headed to the slide and the girls were playing in front of the slide entrance. She tried to go by them (exactly how, I'm not sure) and they didn't like it so they yelled at her.

Lily was very upset. Honestly, I wasn't exactly sure how to handle the situation. I've never really dealt with "mean girls" before. I've only been verbally attached twice. Once in English class in 7th grade, the boy in front of me turned around, told me I was fat, then turned back around. The second was about 4 years ago, through an email and, though harsh, most of it was true. I told Lily she had to say sorry if she did something wrong like stepped on or pushed them. She wanted to say sorry to the girls, so I'm sure Lily wasn't an innocent bystander. But when she went to talk to them they kept running away, which made her more upset. I told her to find somewhere else to play.

I was shocked that the "mean girl" attitude started so young (all the girls involved were Lily's age or younger). I think the proper way to handle it would be all the parents intervening and talking the girls through the situation. But, in this case the other mom was busy talking with her friends. Actually I wasn't even sure who the mom was until I saw her come grab her daughter and leave. If I had seen the incident I'd probably would have approached the girls, but I felt a bit helpless with a toddler hanging from the chain ladder and a crying preschooler 5 feet above my head. I never thought I'd have to add this to my list of things to teach Lily this year, but apparently I do: 8. conflict resolution.