Changing the Focus

I thought I'd be a bit more proactive in my parenting this fall and write out some goals to focus my days. My list included:

1. No more "spoiled crying"
2. Reinstate Chores
3. Daily Bible time and prayer
4. Daily story time
5. Recognize half the alphabet
6. Recognize numbers 1-10
7. Review Colors and Shapes

I think I've finally, really, honestly, truly decided to just throw my hands up to the idea of Lily learning the alphabet and numbers this Fall. (Didn't I just write about this?) We started working on the "Ready for the Code" workbook and we'd done Ff awhile ago, she could remember it so I moved onto Bb. Today we came back to the book after a week off and I said "okay Lily what is this letter?" "B" "Right and do you know what sound it makes?" "ba." I almost fell out of my seat with joy...it's working!! So I go back to Ff, Lily what letter is this? "I don't know" "It starts the word, fffish" "I don't know" "ffffriend, fffffoot, ffffox" "I don't know" "It's an F" "oh" as if she'd never heard of that letter before. So next page, more f's. "Okay Lily what is this letter?"(we just went over it) "I don't know" "remember FFFFFish, FFFFFriend, FFFFFFoot?" "I just don't know" and she throws her crayon down. Okay that was enough workbook.

I confess I have spent many nights and nap times researching different books/techniques to use to teach her these 'basic' things. After this morning, I was fed up - forget it she's just not ready to learn anything. Now this is where God helped me to see that I need to change my focus. Lily has learned a lot in her 3 1/2 years. She can name almost any animal and she's pretty particular (i.e. humpback whale/gray whale/orca whale, "that's not a bird, its a macaw"), she is really interested in nature and loves learning about God.

I decided to ask Lily what she wanted to learn about...she said animals. I was so focused on the stuff 'she had to learn' that I've been ignoring all the stuff she wants to learn. We started nature books, which Lily really seems to love. I still have to find a resource that I can pull out and read about whatever it is we discovered while outside (i.e. grasshopper, mushrooms...). Who knew there was more to life than the alphabet and numbers?! What a silly lesson I had to learn.

First Day of School

The day arrived. This year it was a little more bitter than sweet, for me that is. Lily was looking forward to school, excited to meet new friends and be in her "big girl 3's classroom." I really like Lily's school because it is play focused. I've been feeling a bit of a failure lately. I read an assessment that said Lily should be able to count to 50, write her name and identify the alphabet. None of which are true. I don't think her failure to do these things means she's not smart but that she's a 3 year old. Gosh before I had kids I thought 3 year olds were just learning to talk - clearly that isn't the case. It gives me peace of mind to know she's in a loving place that allows kids to be kids.

There were two crying episodes, though not ones you'd expect. The first was because we couldn't head to school for 30 more minutes. And the second one happened because she had to leave school without being able to go on the playground. Not too bad. Of course, today was visiting day, which means a shortened day and parents stay. So who knows what will happen next week.

Lily stuck to doing things by herself today. I always feel bad when we go into a situation where kids already know each other. In this case the school is run in a large church, most of the families are members of the church and the kids know each other from Sunday School. Lily seemed to get left out from the pack. She wasn't the only 'outsider' and frankly she could careless. This is an area I'm never sure how to navigate because I don't want to feed her shyness or tendency to isolate herself. But I know as they get to know one another, she'll be running around with the kids so I don't want to push it either.

Today Lily did a project, played with my little ponies, drew on a chalkboard, cut up play dough, dressed dolls and ate doughnut holes ("a lot of doughnuts" = 4). In an effort to not be shy myself, I signed up to be a room mother. I'm not sure what a room mother does and am regretting my gun-ho attitude a bit. But I'm sure it'll be fine, err, I mean fun.



Here are two pictures of the girls, ready for school.

Lily picked out her outfit...not too bad.

It Can't Be...

Has it really been a month since I last wrote? I can't believe that. It's been a jam packed month so I'm sad that I didn't share all that we've done. I'll have to put time aside to add some posts. For now, something different than updates and photos but a peak into the struggles of my parenting mind...

We just got back from "Parent's Night" at Lily's school. It's nice to see some old faces from last year, to meet Lily's teachers and to get a sneak peak at the year to come. But there's always this guy who stands up and lectures on some issue. Last year it was uninvolved dads (whom of course weren't there to hear the lecture), this year it was about halloween being evil.

I'm not sure where I stand on the halloween issue. I love Jesus and think I'm pretty conservative and old fashion on my views of life and faith. I do not like sending the mixed message of just for tonight it's okay to go up to strangers and take candy from them. While the whole rest of the year is spend undoing that exact message. I like letting them dress up and pretend play being a ladybug or a bumblebee but really that's a year round activity.

I don't disagree with the anti-halloween message. I'm just nervous that if I say we can't do all the halloween stuff then my girls will feel out casted. Our first halloween Lily wore a hat that said I'm A Pumpkin and next to Timmy's giraffe costume she looked foolish. So the next year we did all the regular activities with both girls. In Lily's art class last year there was a girl who's mom would not let her decorate a pumpkin picture because of these very issues. The other moms looked at this mom as if she was psycho. It takes a lot of guts to stand up like that-but I still wonder is it necessary? I think a lot of the objection is that these traditions (pumpkins, dress up...) all stem from pagan activities. But isn't that true of Christmas? Isn't that why it's in December and there are trees and lights and so on. And for that matter, Easter too? Should we not celebrate holidays because of the pagan influence? Probably we shouldn't. I mean I don't care for Harry Potter for that very reason. Christmas and Easter can and should be focused on Jesus and not Santa or Easter Bunny, but halloween points to well nothing redeeming.

I guess, I don't want to send mix messages, instill negative values or even just give them sugar highs at 8pm. My friend and I happened to talk about this very thing earlier today. She lets her kids go to the town sponsored trick or treat event downtown. Then they come home and hand out all the candy they collected to the trick or treaters on her block. I love that idea. Maybe we can have a holiday party at our house. There must be other parents who are feeling conflicted about this as well, who'd like to have an alternative. Maybe there already is an alternative? I'm a relatively new Christian, well relatively new at actually growing and living out in my faith. And I realize that it's very early to be talking about halloween. Except that the halloween stuff is already on sale and Lily wants to know what all that scary stuff is about? Eventually the issue will become an issue - probably not at 3 years old - what will I do?

I feel more anti-halloween after writing this, but is that being just a bit too psycho? And why does the spell check want me to capitalize halloween? Does it really deserve that honor?

Why We Love Daddy

He sings us sweet songs...

He gives us fun rides...

He makes us sick beds...

And awesome places to hide...

Love you Daddy!!!

(someone got a new hair-do)

ELEFUN!!!!

I've really wanted to start having a family night. I know the benefits are countless, but we never seem to get ourselves together to do it. Tonight we had a spontaneous game night, thanks to Lily's prompting. Actually it was just one game, Elefun!


For those who've never had the pleasure of playing Elefun, it's quite easy. There is an elephant who's nose extends toward the ceiling as a fan blows air up. Inside the elephant you put little 'butterflies' which travel up the trunk with the air and shoot out of the top. The goal is to catch as many butterflies before they hit the ground. Normally everyone has a net and everyone goes at it, but because we could only find one net, each person went by themselves.


Lily has had this game for awhile and it's always been a bit of a challenge for her. But today she was doing great. I think her top score was 4, GO LILY!! Bella was probably the smartest of us all -or just a big cheater head. She tried twice to catch them in the air but realized they just fall to the floor and it's much easier to pick them up and put them in her net. Clearly she got the most.

We all had fun taking turns and trying to beat our old scores. Until Tom's competitive side showed up. Tom's turn came and he got 8, compared to Lily's 4 he was doing awesome. Then my turn came. I was going along catching most of them, when I noticed Tom had 4 butterflies tucked under his legs...he claims it was an accident. My turn ended and I went to count how many I got and Tom says, "Wait there's one more" so I reach out my net to catch it and he hits the bottom up knocking all my butterflies to the ground. Wow! I mean I remember him being merciless at a youth group four squares game, but Elefun?! All I could think to do in responds was to put the net on his head and call him a sore loser, which got repeated by our little parrots several more times that night. I never did get another turn. Of course Tom's next turn he got 13 and claim champion! I will insist on a rematch...maybe once the kids are sleeping.


Here are a few pictures...



I know we actually got a good family shot!!
This may be our Christmas card :)





Lily found a few other uses for the trunk...Princess Hat.



...Arm Band.



Bella having ELEFUN!!!

Visiting Grandma and Pap

Another vacation came and went. I think our neighbors are tired of seeing an unmowed lawn. Tom went to NWMC a few weeks ago and as a way to break up the 10 days, I decided to visit his parents in PA for the last half. I dreaded the drive, 6 hours by myself with two kids-driving and entertaining at the same time. God blessed me greatly because it wasn't too bad. Thanks in large part to our new DVD player and a nice rest stop. There certainly were moments of crying, but overall it was good. We got to spend 3 full days with Grandma and Pap. Unfortunately 2 of those days it rained and I think the girls got alittle RV fever. But a beautiful Friday came and we packed in the activities. We went to an amusement park and the girls loved it. Lily rode her first roller coaster. She apparently is like me: a love/hate relationship with the roller coaster. She was very brave and actually wanted to ride it two times. Bella had a good time on all the rides as well. Yes I let her go on them, nervously allowing it. We went swimming in a heated pool and mommy and Grandma loved it. We tried to go swimming Thursday night, but a thunderstorm came threw and so Lily and Bella swam in the puddles-unfortunately there aren't any pictures. The girls had their first campfire, with marshmallows of course. We had a good time, but are glad to be home with DADDY!!



Here are a few photos...

I wonder if Lily thinks she's really driving?




This one was a big hit, she rode it 2 or 3 times.


They only ate about 3 bites.


Snuggling on the deck watching the rain.


A visit to the park before it started raining again.


Grandma and girls


Just one more pleeeease!


Pap and the girls feeding the deer.

Thanks Grandma and Pap!!

Our Trip to Virginia

In the summer of vacations, this past weekend we went to see Tom's brother and family in Suffolk, Virginia. I'll admit at the start that we were alittle naive about this whole trip. Mapquest said it would take less than 8 hours to get there, and Mapquest is never wrong (yes sarcasm). I never looked at a map to actually see the route we were expecting to drive. Thus not seeing we'd be driving along the shore, passing thru DC and well driving through 6 states. We aren't long trip novices, we go to PA regularly (8 hours) and try to go to Maine once a year (7 hours). But we were under prepared for our journey to VA. I'll spare you the woas of our journey down, except to say it took 12 long hours and we got the honor of traveling through Harrington: The Hub of Delaware.

We had a really nice visit. Xandria and Taylor are really great kids and everyone got along well. I can't wait to get all the Ayres together, the chaos will be so entertaining. We spent the first day hanging around, swimming in the pirate pool, playing Duck Duck 123 and such. We didn't want to go outside too much because it's so darn hot out there. Tom commented accurately when he said 'who knew Virginia was next to Africa?" The next day we headed to the aquarium, the girls had a great time there. Lily still talks about the rocket ship (aka...submarine) and the smiling sting ray. It was a short trip, especially considering the drive, but very relaxing.

Notes for our next trip to Virginia...

1. Drive at night

2. Get an EZPass

3. Avoid I-95

4. Remember the DVD player

5. Only question the Garmin when it comes to traffic

6. JUST FLY!

Now for a few pictures....

Thanks Uncle Guy and Aunt Cherry!!!